You never really get to see how weird someone can be until you’re in a relationship with them for a long time. So I make sure to get all of the weird out of the way right at the beginning, which, unsurprisingly, scared a bunch of people away until I found someone who wasn’t. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t have plenty more weirdness left in me. And even though I’ve admitted to some pretty bizarre behavior, I don’t think I’ve ever done anything as bizarre as this.
A Reddit user by the name of whattodobedroom was in a happy relationship with a lovely girlfriend for a few months. Things were starting to get serious between the two of them, so they decided to move in with one another and engage in boring adult conversations, like divvying up the household chores and responsibilities. One thing that she was adamant about doing was laundry, and he thought nothing of it.
That is, until one event that would change the dynamic of their relationship forever.
In hindsight, he thought it was weird when she came home one day to find him in the bedroom getting the laundry together and immediately told him to go do something else because she would take care of it instead. He writes, “I always thought it was sweet and never her job to do it alone, but hey, if it makes her happy to do it all the time, I wouldn’t stop her.”
This particular user likes going to the gym a lot and thus has a fresh, fully stocked lower drawer filled with different plushy gym socks he would use to go and work up a sweat in. When he went to go and grab a new and clean pair to head on over to the gym, he had noticed that there weren’t any clean pairs of socks. No big deal he thought to himself, they must be in the laundry, so he went to go and check the dryer.
No gym socks were there. Then he checked the washer, none in there either. So he asked his girlfriend, who was always so adamant about picking up sock duty where his socks went and she just went silent and her face turned red.
This, understandably, confused OP. She mumbled, “I don’t know,” which only further confused our storyteller. So he laughed about it and joked about her “ruining” his socks, which had her burst out in tears.
She kept promising to buy him new socks through sobs and at that point, OP didn’t care about the socks anymore, but was worried about his girlfriend. He tried his best to calm her down and put his arm around her, telling her it was OK, he didn’t care about the socks and that he loved her. He ultimately had to leave to get to work and on his way out of the house he took the trash out, and noticed there was a small plastic bag tightly wrapped up on top of the trash that had socks in it.
When he opened the bag to see exactly how she messed them up, he saw brown streaks all over the socks…it looked like poop. So when he smelled the socks he confirmed that yes, there was indeed caca on them. He was mortified due to the fact they they didn’t have any pets or kids and needed to know whose poop was on his gym socks.
But it gets crazier.
When he went back inside to find out why there was poop on his socks as it was a mystery that would bother him for the rest of the day, his girlfriend began acting defensively, and said he was accusing her of doing something to the socks. That’s when something “clicked” in his head and he asked her, straight up: “Is this your poop?”
His girlfriend then rant out of the house crying, leaving him with a bag of crap-covered socks in his hand.
He didn’t go after her, and he’s extremely “weirded out” at this point, but his girlfriend finally reached out to him with an explanation as to why her feces is on his gym socks.
He wanted to know if it was a fetish, which she outright denied and insisted it was for hygienic purposes, which only further compounded his confusion.
Many of us have been in less than ideal bathroom situations where we’ve had to do things to get ourselves clean that are below dignity. Running out of toilet paper? Lather up your hand with soap and go to town, or maybe you get the cardboard toilet paper roll, wet it and get to scraping. This guy’s girlfriend, however, decided to use socks when she was wiping because she was afraid of getting poop on her hands.
It only left him a bit more confused and he’s hoping that he can someday look back and laugh at this behavior, but for now, he’s still kind of freaked out.
Thankfully, some people in the comments section offered up some helpful suggestions and not just making jokes about the situation.
But rest assured, there were still plenty of jokes to be had over the entire thing.
I mean, can you really blame people for laughing? It’s absolutely nuts. Unless I’ve been living in the dark and there are throngs of people out there who do use socks for this kind of thing on the regular.