1. I looked up my partner on RateMyProfessor. Someone wrote that he is so attractive it’s hard to pay attention. I agree, random undergrad.
2. My dad was a professor, retired a few years ago. He only ever had one bad review, and he thought it was hilarious: “Son of a bitch ate the last chicken nugget in the dining hall. Great professor, but the theft of nuggets is a sin I cannot forgive.”
3. My dad was a professor, and he was upset to read one review on RateMyProfessor that said, “He might look like Santa, but he sure ain’t jolly!” He was annoyed that they thought he looked old.
4. A bunch of students criticized me for using a fake British accent and trying to morph it back to an American accent too soon.
5. “This teacher is so cool that I can’t believe she is as old as she is.”
6. My very first comment was, in all caps, “Don’t take her!! All she ever does is talk about witches and fairytales.”
7. It’s two words long: “The devil.”
8. There have been some fun ones, however this one from back in early 2000s always stuck out to me: “I hope you get the bird flu and die. However, before you die, you understand that you gave it to your wife and family and they all die. And then you die with the knowledge that you killed them.”
9. “This class was like 1984 for being controlled by fear from the thought police, but I couldn’t even write that in a paper because it was banned.”
10. From my father’s RMP: “HE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL PROBLEMS AND WILL FAIL YOU EVEN WHEN DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER!” My dad has no clue who this is, considering no one has ever told him that they had cancer and couldn’t make it to class.
11. HS teacher, but got: “You were great, but your height was distracting.” I’m average height.
12. Something to the effect of: “She’s so awkward I would leave 30 minutes into each class.” It was one negative review out of tons of positives so it stood out for a while, which I found hilarious. Not denying I can be awkward, I teach math, it’s our jam. But nobody leaves 30 minutes into class.
13. “She’s very peppy… annoyingly so…” I teach math. Would you rather me be monotone?
14. “Worst professor ever! We had homework every week!”
15. Back when I was in my PhD program my friends and I used to troll each other all the time with fake reviews on RateMyProfessor. One of my friends wrote one about how I was great except how weird it was that I have a stripper pole in my kitchen. I wrote several for my friends, including one where I mentioned that he would give extra credit to anyone who asked him about his pet lobster.
16. “Easy on the eyes.”
17. She was lit! Only words matter!
18. They gave me a bad review and said I was a terrible professor because I made them read a 200-300 page novel per week in a creative writing class. No homework, just read it and come ready to discuss it. Imagine. I made them read stuff.
19. The funniest review was from an organ performance major. He said that I was: “The only instructor who could effectively teach organ technique and the performance of literature in the studio while simultaneously correcting a wrong note he heard coming from a piano major across the hall in a practice room!”
20. One of my fav uncles is a professor at a local state college that’s pretty fancy. So my aunt and I looked it up. Everyone loves his class, clear expectations, clear explaining, but one person said they were worried about his teeth cause of how much Diet Coke he drinks in class.