1. “This is going to make for a funny story one day.” Maybe that’s true, but maybe that doesn’t matter right now. Maybe all she wanted was a regular wedding like all of her friends and family have gotten to have in the past. Even though this might make for a great story to tell at parties in the future, right now, this is her real life. And it sucks. It isn’t funny. It isn’t entertaining. It’s miserable.

2. “It’s only a wedding.” Saying this will make her think you have no idea how much time, effort, money, and love went into her planning. This wasn’t something she put together in a matter of days. It took her months. Maybe even years. It’s a lot of work planning a wedding, which is why so many ladies turn into bridezillas after the smallest inconveniences — and she is going through a fucking pandemic. So please don’t act like she’s being ridiculous. If anything, she’s being pretty damn reasonable under the circumstances.

3. “You’re being so selfish.” If she chooses to elope or have a smaller wedding than originally planned because she doesn’t want to deal with the process of planning her wedding from scratch again, you shouldn’t be whining about how this wasn’t the wedding you envisioned. It wasn’t what she envisioned either but she’s doing her best under the worst circumstances. She needs your support during this time, not your judgement.

4. “If you can get through this with your partner, you can get through anything.” It’s a very sweet sentiment, and it’s probably the truth, but her wedding isn’t something she wanted to get through. It’s something she wanted to enjoy. It’s something she wanted to get excited about. And now, all that excitement is gone. She’s stopped feeling like a bride. The worst part is, she feels horrible complaining about it because she knows it’s pretty much the least important thing in the world right now.

5. “Don’t stress. You should stay positive.” Creating a plan B, or postponing the wedding even though there’s a small, small chance that it could happen this year anyway, isn’t being pessimistic. It’s being realistic. Most brides don’t want to spend every single day up until their wedding stressing. They don’t want to miss out on bachelorette parties and bridal showers and cake tastings, either. Most importantly, they don’t want to get screwed when it comes to their money. So you might think she’s changing her date too early or freaking out over nothing, but really, she’s doing the right thing by planning ahead.

6. “At least you’re healthy. That’s all that matters.” She already knows this. Of course she’s thankful her family and friends are healthy. Of course that is the most important thing. But it’s unfair to force comparisons on her. Just because other people have it worse doesn’t mean she isn’t allowed to grieve. This was supposed to be her wedding, her day, her year. She had such high hopes and now everything is ruined. She’s allowed to be upset. She’s allowed to cry. She’ll allowed to vent about how unfair this is for her. TC mark


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