So whether you’re unwinding from eating a lot of chocolate, or just gearing up for morning mass, scroll through these uplifting Easter quotes and jokes that will be sure to put a smile on your face.

Funny Easter Quotes

1. “Tell the chocolate bunny I’ll pass. I have enough men in my life who are hollow and disappointing.” —Unknown

2. “The Easter bunny ate all of the carrots we left for him. What a pig.” —Steve Carell

3. “A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him and go to heaven forever. How do you get from that to Hide-The-Eggs? Did Jesus have a problem with eggs? Did he go, “When I come back, if I see any eggs, the whole salvation thing is off?'” —Jon Stewart

4. “Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won’t stay there.” —Clarence W. Hall

5. “Golf is just the adult version of an Easter Egg Hunt.”

6. “All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt!” —Charles M. Schulz

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Source: istock

7. “If you see a rabbit laying little brown eggs, don’t eat them. It’s not chocolate!” —Unknown

8. “There’s nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate.” —Linda Grayson

9. “Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.” —Garrison Keillor

10. “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” —Bernard Meltzer

11. “Lent was invented so Catholics could take another shot at their New Year’s resolutions.” —Melanie White

12. “My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you could get stuff cheaper.” —Amy Sedaris

13. “My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.” —Adam Ferrara”

14. “I lied on my Weight Watchers list. I put down that I had three eggs… but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs.” —Caroline Rhea

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Source: istock

15. “Easter egg hunts are proof your child can find things when they really want to.” —Unknown

16. “Someone must X-ray my stomach to see if the Peeps I ate on Easter are still in there, intact and completely undigested. And I’m not talking about this past Easter. I’m talking about the last time I celebrated Easter, in 1962.” —Bill Maher

17. “Happy Easter everyone! Jesus dies, comes back from the dead — and we get chocolate eggs. It’s like turn-down service from God.” —Denis Leary

18. “That first Easter must have been awkward, because you know the apostles had already divided up Jesus’ stuff.” —William Ader

19. “Two thousand years ago, Jesus is crucified. Three days later, he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.” —Billy Crystal 

20. “Follow the bunny, he has the chocolate!”

Happy Easter to you and yours!


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