It doesn’t matter whether you’re okay with being on your own, whether you enjoy spending time with yourself, whether you are perfectly happy with the idea of being single.

Even if you are strong and independent, going through a breakup is going to suck. It’s going to hurt like hell. It’s going to turn you into a puddle of mascara.

You have to remember, your pain isn’t something you should be embarrassed about admitting. Your heartache doesn’t make you weak. In fact, being open and honest about what you are going through takes a certain level of strength.

It’s not easy being vulnerable about your emotions, especially when you’re used to looking like you have your shit together, when you’re used to acting like nothing bothers you, when you’re used to pretending everything rolls right off your back.

Even when you know you can survive on your own, when you know a relationship doesn’t define you, when you know you have plenty to offer to this world, it’s still hard to go through a breakup. It’s hard to accept that someone you hoped would stick around forever has suddenly disappeared from your universe. It’s hard to get used to your new normal.

Your tears don’t mean that you can’t survive on your own. They don’t mean you’ve given up on the idea of happiness. They don’t mean that you aren’t capable of making it through this period of your life.

They simply mean you lost someone who meant a lot to you — and that is something worth crying over.

You shouldn’t feel silly about caring, about crying, about experiencing disappointment. You’re allowed to get emotional over what happened, even if you realize you’re going to be okay in the end, even if you realize you’re better off without this person, even if you realize this is going to work out for the best.

You have to stop assuming you’re supposed to be okay with suddenly being single again, simply because you’re strong and independent. Yes, you can take care of yourself, but that doesn’t mean you want to be on your own. If you had high hopes for this relationship, it’s only natural for you to mourn its end. You shouldn’t try to stop yourself from caring, because being in touch with your emotions is the healthiest way you can cope.

You don’t have to put on a brave face right now. You don’t have to lie about how you prefer being on your own, anyway, so the breakup isn’t a big deal to you. If you’re upset, you’re allowed to admit it. You’re allowed to have emotions. You’re allowed to miss someone who meant the world to you. 

Even when you’re strong and independent, breakups are going to hurt like hell, so don’t bottle everything up inside. Don’t pretend things are okay when you’re struggling. Don’t feel like you have to put on some sort of act because it’s entirely possible to be strong and vulnerable at the same time. TC mark


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