Do you think her mom bought her husband the training watch because she suspected something? Mothers tend to know things like that. And I simply cannot get over, “It was the under-one-minute heart rate spike that confirmed things for me!” How savage! But also, if she knew that her husband didn’t, um, take long, what other activity would make his heart rate spike for that short a period of time? 

The lesson here seems to be don’t sync your heart rate monitors with your loved ones unless you are prepared to learn potentially terrible information about them. One poor, poor Twitter user named Nikki wrote, “I synced with my mom and also noticed her late night / early morning spikes. Scarred.” Well, that’s horrifying. But it gets even crazier. 

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