1. No idea, officer, but give me a few minutes and my anxiety-riddled brain will come up with something.
2. Does it have anything to do with the corpse in the trunk?
3. Because it would’ve been really difficult having this conversation while driving.
4. Oh boy, I sure hope its to share your doughnuts.
5. Technically, I pulled myself over.
6. Did I forget to take the ‘Free candy’ sign off again?
7. You wanted my phone number?
8. Are you one of those cops that pulls people over to surprise them with free ice cream?
9. Because you got straight C’s in high school.
10. Because it’s the end of the month and you haven’t met your ticket quota.
11. Because you wanted someone to talk to. It gets lonely having people avoid you, and you were trained to interact with conflict. So you have created conflict so you can have an interaction.
12. If you forgot, I’m not reminding you.
13. Don’t tell me! Let me guess!
I have a low tire?
My tags are expired?
You saw me rocking out and wanted to know what music I was listening too?
You’re lost and need directions to the zoo?
You noticed I’m lost and you wanted to give me directions to the zoo?
Don’t tell me, let me guess!
The zoo is closed today, and you wanted to let me know before I got there?
14. No, but if you hum a few bars, I’ll fake it.
15. To give me your autograph?
16. Now that I’ve got your attention, have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior?
17. Are you wearing a bulletproof vest or is that all you in there officer?
18. To ruin my day?
19. Isn’t that your job to tell me?
20. Hopefully to invite me to dinner.
21. Would you like a sip of my beer?
22. That’s for me to know and you to find out.
23. Why are you asking me; did you already forget?
24. Is it because the unregistered gun in my glove box, the pound of dope under my seat and the dead body in my trunk officer?
25. Depends how long you were following me.
26. Yes but I want to see if YOU know.
27. Because stopping in the middle of the road would probably be bad.
28. Yes, but do you?
29. If I guess correctly will you let me go with a warning?
30. Because I was driving like an asshole.