Sometimes, you will struggle to move on from someone you never even dated, someone who was just a friend, someone who might not even miss you now that you’re gone.
You shouldn’t feel weird about grieving a relationship that never came to fruition. You didn’t need a label in order to fall hard for them. You are allowed to be upset. You are allowed to consider yourself heartbroken.
Sometimes, it’s harder to get over an almost than to get over someone you actually dated.
When you end a serious relationship, there is a conversation, a clearcut ending. When you lose an almost, the ending usually isn’t as obvious. They might distance themselves slowly. They might stop answering your texts. They might stop making plans to see you. They might start seeing someone new.
It takes a long time to accept an almost relationship is over because you are never sure whether it is over. You are never sure what is running through the other person’s mind.
Even once you realize your almost is never coming back, it’s hard to move on because you still have strong feelings for them, you still want to be with them, you still think dating them would’ve made you happy.
Even though there are exes you’re tempted to text when you’re lonely, deep down, you know they’re bad for you. You know you broke up for a reason. For every good time you shared with them, there were an equal amount of arguments. Screaming matches. Sobs. Suffering. When you stop to really think about whether getting back with your ex would work out, you realize it’s a bad idea, because you have been down that road before.
You don’t have that same reassurance with almosts. You never got to know them as thoroughly as your exes, so there aren’t as many negative emotions associated with their memory. Excitement is associated with them. Happiness. Hope. Love. Lust. When you think of them, you think of butterflies in stomaches. You think of smiles tugging at lips.
The most annoyed an almost ever made you was taking a little too long to answer a text, which is small in the grand scheme of things. You don’t have any hardcore proof your relationship would have failed. Maybe you would have made a good couple. Maybe you would have been perfect together.
It’s hard to move on when you are still wondering what could have been.
Maybe you would have ended up in a serious relationship if you made a move sooner, or if you waited longer, or if you texted them more, or if you texted them less. You have no way of telling. You haven’t gotten any closure from them and the questions are driving you crazy. They are keeping your mind stuck on your almost.
Sometimes, it’s even harder getting over almosts than exes. Sometimes, missing out on a relationship that could have been hurts more than ending a relationship you already knew was bad for you.