I have two kids and I had two gender reveal parties for both of them. Well, I should say my wife had two gender reveal parties. On the one hand, I’m glad these little get-togethers make her happy.

Yes, it’s good to spend time with your friends and family. It’s fun to invite people over and have a nice little shindig and share the joy of your upcoming birth with them. But then there’s a part of me that just absolutely hates gender reveal parties.

Yes, I understand it’s just another way to celebrate the birth of your child, but I can’t help but feel like it detracts from the “I’ll love the kid no matter what” philosophy, you know?

Source: istock

That’s part of the reason gender reveals rub me the wrong way, but I can’t fully explain why I dislike them so much. That said, even I can’t bring myself to delight in how horribly wrong these gender reveal celebrations went.

Like this Tucscon, Arizona couple who accidentally started a wildfire.

Source: twitter

The offending dad who started the fire, Border Patrol agent Dennis Dickey, has been forced to pay $220,000 in restitution charges. If you think that’s a lot of money, it’s only a fraction of the estimated damage his little stunt caused: a whopping $8.2 million. Honestly, what he owes is pretty much what med school students are in the hole for after they graduate, so it could be worse, I guess. Then again, the average salary of a border patrol agent means he’ll probably be paying that off for a long, long time.

The one that got away.

Source: instagram

When Molly Mae Thompson was expecting her child, she decided to go the balloon reveal route. She probably regrets that they didn’t keep a tighter grip on it.

“We stood with butterflies waiting to pop this balloon. Within moments, we would be showered with pink or blue confetti, revealing the gender of our little one,” she wrote. “Well, the Santa Ana [winds] had a different plan. Not only did the balloon not pop, but a gust of wind blew that thing right out of our hands, straight over the roof, never to be seen again.”

Smoke bomb.

Source: instagram

If this expectant mom was trying to escape in a cloud of blue smoke for her gender reveal, then she did a good job. There’s nothing wrong with this reveal, per se, but the photo capturing the moment looks like a Gob Bluth illusion gone wrong.

Boy? Girl?

Source: instagram

This couple received conflicting gender results from the ultrasound company and their doctor, leading to some confusion on the day of their gender reveal party. The mama in the photo above wrote about it in her Instagram post.

“This video was cool and awesome until it was wrong,” she said. “After the party, we went again to confirm the gender and it is a boy.”

It’s a…Pizza!

Source: instagram

Learn from this parent’s mistake: if you’re planning on revealing the gender of your child, maybe don’t leave it in the hands of Domino’s. The toppings on the pizza were supposed to spell “it’s a boy” but instead it just looks like a bunch of pizzas.

“#epicfail Dominos! This was suppose to be my gender reveal for the grandparents…total flop, should read “It’s a boy” but dominos apparently doesn’t know how to place pepperonis close together!”

Eating the cupcake in one bite.

Source: instagram

Another common gender reveal method is to fill some cupcakes with either pink or blue filling, which is a cute and delicious way of announcing the sex of your child. However that only works if you take a bite out of the cupcake and not swallow it all in one bite, like this Daddy did.

“So this was suppose to be the gender reveal for Chad at work but somehow the ‘gender reveal’ part got left out and typical for my husband he ate the cupcake whole not even noticing the pink cream center.”

This dad who could’ve done a better job of tying the box to the rails.

Source: briad godfrey | youtube

This couple had a box packed with balloons. Their idea was to pull a string and have either a bunch of pink or blue balloons fall down on them at their gender reveal party. Instead, the box fell on mom’s head. Definitely not as cute.

This cake that’s sending mixed signals.

Source: instagram

All right, take a quick look at this cake (if you’re not colorblind) and tell me what two colors you see. Now, it’d be fine if these parents were having twins, but they’re not.

“Chocolate = boy
Strawberry = girl
There is only one baby and I see TWO flavors……”

Balloon drama.

Source: joe krummell | youtube

This one was even more confounding than the cake conundrum above. It’s simple: you pack a box with pink balloons for a girl and blue balloons for a boy. What does it mean when you’ve got blue, purple, yellow, green, orange, and red in there? Maybe whoever packed the box didn’t want the kid’s parents to assume their kid’s gender for them.

Gender reveal cannon malfunction.

Source: alecs strayer | youtube

Hey, does standing in front of a homemade cannon with your very pregnant wife for a gender reveal sound like a good idea to you? No? Well then congratulations, you’ve got a ton of common sense.

Even though the couple tested and re-tested this cannon before their big gender reveal, it malfunctioned at the last moment, forcing someone off camera to kick the thing to get the confetti out. Which resulted in the injuries below.

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