I’m not going to delve spoilers about stalker-y “Chic Cooper” or talk extensively about Scott, a weirdo who casually carries his birth certificate around with him. Instead, I’m going to point out that nothing, be it an institution or the Sisters of Mercy (so…still an institution), should’ve allowed Lily or Alice to keep their lovechild a secret for over 20 years. Not that I’ve really attempted it, but do you know difficult it is to hide a pregnancy? Like there’s another person inside you, I don’t…

Whatever, the love child thing gets fans riled up. Go to the comment section on any Riverdale post and you have teens tinged with tearful hysteria, screaming, “It’s FINE because they’re NOT related, Jughead and Betty aren’t brother and sister.” Yeah, I mean, I guess. In any case, on Gossip Girl Scott was enough to break Serena and Dan up for a few seasons. On incest-friendly Riverdale, Betty and Jug sharing the sibling is the least of anyone’s problems.

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