Being single can be hard because you’re always out there chasing your future SO. But being in a relationship can be equally tough, because when things between you aren’t going smoothly, neither person wants to be in the center of the confrontation.
Every couple fights though, and relationship coaches agree arguments can strengthen your relationship — if you go about them productively, that is. But if you and your girlfriend find yourselves having the same silly fights over and over again, it might be time to dig a little deeper.
Men on reddit came together to share the dumbest arguments they’ve ever had with their girlfriends, and they’re honestly so relatable, we had to compile them all into one comprehensive list.
Below, 7 petty fights you’ve definitely had — or are about to — and how to surmount them to build a stronger relationship.
1. “You cheated on me in my dream.”
Ah, the classic middle-of-the-night disturbing shake-awake from your beloved. Or at least, the beloved she was four hours ago, when you went to bed. Now that she’s had a nightmare you were cheating on her, she’s throwing a fit and yelling at you wayyyyy before you’ve had a chance at morning coffee.
Because we’re all empathetic individuals, we understand how realistic the dream must have seemed for her to wake up with such a belligerent start. But it’s hurtful to be cornered for something the dream-version of you did in her subconscious.
Since there isn’t anything really productive to be done in this situation, one redditor shared how he navigates these muddy dream-fight waters. “Tell her ‘how dare you create such an awful version of me in your head’ and complain that she’s ruining your reputation by making your dream version cheat. It’s just as rational,” he writes.
Hey, whatever works.
2. “Why was I not invited?”
Whether you’re in the other room staying up late to watch TV, or going out with your friends to a concert, chances are you might have been called out by — or have earned the silent treatment for not including — your girlfriend.
At least that’s what happened to redditor mistermatth, whose SO was furious when she woke “up to [him] sleeping in the spare room in a sleeping bag inside [his] camping tent.” It turned out he just played video games into the night and crashed in front of the TV, but to her, it seemed like he had planned an entire indoor campout night designed not to include her.
His solution? To plan an indoor campout night they could both partake in this weekend. Honestly, your girlfriend just loves you and wants to share in your fun.
But if you feel like this is a recurring issue in your relationship, encourage her to take up an activity she loves that you’re not interested in, or to make a girls’ night to hang out with her friends.
While it’s important that she feel included in your social life, the occasional evening apart will give you more to talk about once you’re in the same place again. Plus, everyone eventually gets sick of the person with whom they spend 24 hours a day.
Listen, I’m a women and I have a lot of female friends who are painfully particular about their laundry. So I’m with you guys on this one — I really don’t get it. As long as my clothes are clean, I could care less about how they get that way.
If I can offer a tip to frustrated male readers who are trying to wrap their heads around why their girlfriends always get mad at how they clean their clothes, it’s to just let them handle the laundry. I hate to break it to you, but unless you take painstaking notes and observations each time she does a load, she’ll probably never be satisfied with how you wash (and don’t get me started about drying) her clothes.
However, if you do follow my advice to take a step back, you also have to let go completely and let her handle the chore her way. So if she decides to wash all colors and clothing items separately and this irks the hell out of you, I’m sorry, bud.
Let her win on this one. You can help with folding, though.
4. “I don’t want to fight.”
Don’t you love being in a relationship? It’s the only situation in which — surprise! It’s suddenly opposite day but you never got the memo. Whether it’s because you’re not one to fight or escalate arguments, or because she thinks you’re too ambivalent about things that are important to her, here’s a tip: If she says “I don’t want to fight,” you’re definitely in for the opposite.
Want to avoid this fight in the future? Be adults. Discussing your problems openly is the only way to keep passive-aggression out of your relationship. And when you get her to open up, really, really make an effort to listen.
No woman wants to be provoking reactions out of their partners — you two just have to work on how you’re communicating. Patience and perspective work will make you both more empathetic toward each other, and empathy is always an important cornerstone to a healthy and functional relationship.
5. You two are actually saying the same thing.
Romantic or platonic, this argument happens in literally all impassioned relationships. And it’s often because we’re so caught up in defending our stance that we don’t actually listen to the fact that the other person is saying the EXACT SAME THING as us.
Sometimes when you’re not exactly sure what you and your girlfriend are arguing about, it’s helpful to take a step back and try to get a handle on the bigger picture. If it turns out you two are just arguing over semantics, congratulations.
Once you unroot the miscommunication, these reconciliations are often hilarious and laughter-filled. As long as you can both admit you were acting like stubborn babies.
6. “Why did you comment on her Instagram?”
Some girlfriends get insecure when they see their man’s ignoring them while (because?) they’re spending time chatting up other women. Though occasional jealousy might be a turn-on for some men, if this fight occurs often, it might be a sign of a deeper problem in the relationship.
As one person on reddit pointed out, “those are the cheaters in my experience.” Extreme jealousy and possessiveness can often be projection tactics, but I’ve personally been in the accuser’s position here and have never been disloyal.
In the event your girlfriend isn’t cheating and is just insecure, express your love to her in such a way that petty Instagram comments or outings with friends who happen to be female don’t make her question your entire relationship.
Try to understand where she’s coming from, identify her love language, and if you care to work on your problems, don’t lash out and attack her. I guarantee that will only make her insecurity worse.
7. I have no idea why we’re fighting but we seem to get into pointless arguments once a month.
Broseph. It’s called her time of the month, look it up. Women can be pieces of work for the duration of the calendar year — just take it from your self-aware author — but believe me when I say you have NO IDEA what we have to go through when our monthly curse hits.
Like, if guys got periods, I’m pretty sure the entire planet would get a monthly week off — that’s how physically and emotionally harrowing they are to endure, and that’s how much of babies you grown men can often be.
So if your girl’s picking pointless arguments around the same time each month,
1) Don’t bring up her period unless you want to look WRATH in the face.
2) Cuddle her extra.
3) Get her her favorite snacks.
4) Don’t go picking innocuous arguments that will make her more agitated.
5) Take a load off her shoulders by doing cooking, walking the dog, or doing the dishes.
Just, you know, stay away from her laundry.