When you’re in a relationship with someone, especially if it’s someone you are committed to and plan to spend the rest of your life with, you expect to know pretty much everything about them.

It’s like the experts always say: openness and communication are the key to all healthy and long-lasting relationships.

This eye-opening TED Talk will help you build a better communication style with your partner:

Of course, while relationships which revolve around healthy communication are the ideal, there are many couples who don’t conform to this standard. And that’s exactly what one woman, by the name of Jessica Boynton, had to come to terms with as her whirlwind romance broke down beyond repair.

The thing is, Jessica found out much too late that the man who would become the father of her unborn child had a very twisted life that he’d kept a secret from her.

It was May 2016, when a 34-year-old Jessica met 38-year-old Paul, the man who would change her life beyond recognition. The pair met on Craigslist which initially seemed an improvement on all the dating apps Jessica had used in the past.

For their first date, Paul took Jessica and her three-year-old daughter to the movie theater, and they really hit it off. Indeed, it wasn’t long before he began taking Jessica on romantic weekend trips in Charleston.

They enjoyed each other’s company, had an astounding amount of chemistry and Jessica really believed that this was it; she had found her endgame.

And even though Paul lived in South Carolina while they were dating, and traveled all around the South as part of his work as a contractor, the pair had begun talking about moving in together.