As most of us already know, no two vaginas are the same. Even if you are embarrassed about flashing your wobbly bits to a professional, I can guarantee that you won’t have anything down there that they haven’t seen before.
But staring straight into women’s lady boxes all day long is not a job for the fainthearted. Gynos have period blood to contend with, bushes straight out of a 70s adult movie, and, of course, the smells. Oh God – the smells!
Whilst most women take good care of their vaginas, that’s not always the case, and some people let nature run riot downstairs. Here are the 11 things that gynecologists absolutely hate their patients doing…
1. Cancelling appointments because of periods
Gynecologists are busy people, and they are used to seeing period blood. They’d much rather you turned up to your appointment looking like Carrie than leaving them with an empty appointment slot at the last minute.
2. Repeatedly having to ask you to move down the table
Gynecologists aren’t there to admire your vagina from afar. As much as you don’t want them to, you need to get up close and personal if you want to make sure that you’re reproductive organs are as they should be.
3. Bringing your partner into the appointment
There is absolutely nothing sexual about a gynaecologist appointment. So why on Earth would you feel the need to bring your partner into the appointment with you? It makes your gyno feel incredibly uncomfortable.
4. Referring to Google as a doctor
It doesn’t matter what your symptoms are, if you Google them, you will have convinced yourself that you have brain cancer within less than half an hour. So don’t refer to the search engine as a doctor to your gyno. Seriously.
A little-known fact about vaginas is that they are completely self-cleaning. This means that there’s absolutely no need to put any soaps or gels up there. Everything that needs to come out is, quite literally, discharged.
5. Not telling your gynaecologist about period problems
Whilst a little PMS is inevitable for women, if your symptoms are affecting your day to day life, let your gyno know. You’re not being a drama queen, and they’ll be able to help make that time of the month a lot more bearable if you do.
6. Not asking for a female doctor when you’d prefer one
Gynecologists understand that some women prefer to only have other women look at their lady bits. That’s why it’s frustrating for male gynaecologists when they have to treat women who’d prefer a female doctor. All you have to do is say.
7. Poor personal hygiene
The vagina might be a self-cleaning organ, but that doesn’t meant that you should let all hell break loose downstairs. If you have pubic hair, make sure it’s clean, and, for the love of God, make sure that you’ve turned up in clean underwear. It’s only polite.
8. Not getting screened for cervical cancer
It’s no secret that cervical cancer is particularly slow moving, so regular smear tests have the potential to save lives. By the time women start showing physical symptoms, it’s often too late to treat them successfully.
Vaginas are a lot stronger than what most people think. There’s even a spontaneous phenomenon (aptly called penis captivus) that can occur during sex when a vagina will suddenly clamp down on a penis making exit impossible. Yikes!
9. Not telling your gynaecologist about symptoms
Even if you think that unusual-looking discharge is nothing, it’s best to let your gynecologist know about it. When it comes to our health, it is better to be safe than sorry. That’s why we should tell medical professionals everything.
10. Suddenly stopping birth control
If your current birth control isn’t working for you, it’s important to tell your gynaecologist so that you can discuss your options. Stopping contraception and using no other method will lead to – you guessed it – pregnancy.
11. Questioning the non-disclosure agreement
Even if you visit a new gynaecologist, and they turn out to be a friend of a friend, don’t question the confidentially of the care you will receive. Medical professionals are bound by law to keep your information private.
So the next time you’re lying in your gyno’s chair with your legs spread, spare a thought for these oh-so-important medical professionals. They have seen and heard it all and just want to keep your lady bits happy and healthy!