Being an emergency responder is an important job that doesn’t get enough respect.

From the EMS workers to the 9-1-1 operators, these are the people who keep us safe in moments of crisis. But beyond crisis, they also have to deal with the truly absurd on a daily basis. Usually those things are your average daily caller or grandma who doesn’t want people on her lawn, but what about the really insane calls?

Someone on Reddit asked first responders to tell the story of their weirdest calls, and they’re pretty amazing. Here are 12 of the best.

1. “911, what’s your emergency?” “There’s a pig in the road. A big one.” “Sir where are you?” “At the stoplight. It’s the biggest damn pig I have ever seen. Get someone here now!” (One stoplight town, the bar is near the intersection.) “How big is the pig?” “About the size of a Volkswagen?” “How much have you had to drink?” “I’m not fucking drunk! It’s a giant pig the size of a small car! What is wrong with you people?” Officers show up to find a full grown hippo that had escaped from the local wild animal park. — neinta

2. I answered the phone and gave my usual, “911, do you need Police, Fire, or Ambulance? ” and the person on the other end just started screaming, “BEEEEEEEEEEEEES!! BEEEEEEES!!” I assumed that the bees were neither mugging him nor on fire, so I put it through to ambulance because what the fuck even. — CL_Adept

3. A family member was working in an emergency room and said the following case came in about a month ago: A guy got high on PCP. Suddenly thinks “hmm, I’m a bit hungry and would like to have some eggs.” Proceeds to cut out one of his testicles and fry it in a frying pan. His girlfriend walks in while he’s doing that and goes “WHAT THE HELL?!” at which point he’s like, “oh, whoops, sorry” and tries to put his fried testicle back in his scrotum. Then he was in the hospital. I don’t know the result, but I can guess. — funny_funny_business


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