At the age of twenty-eight, Charlie Sheen had a dream.

He was looking at a cartoon version of himself from across the room, he was rail thin wearing a black suit and a red tie. His eye were “bloated” and his mouth was “pinched” and he was dawning a sign around his neck. Written in red the sign said, “AIDS”.

“I pushed it away for years, I made it go away, but I always knew that that was a message from the universe that this thing was coming,” Sheen tells Dr. Oz.

That premonition was exactly why the actor wasn’t shocked when he received his diagnosis four years ago, and possibly the reason why he is okay with trying new ways to stay alive.

Image Credit: Screenshot / E! Online

Image Credit: Screenshot / E! Online

According to an in-depth interview with Dr. Oz, Sheen admits that he has stopped taking medication for a while in order for him and his doctors to pursue new ways of finding a cure for HIV. The 50-year-old actor also said he was curious to see just how he would feel not taking the pill every single day.

“There’s a host of side-effects that are manageable,” Sheen explains. “I was just curious, as I think a lot of people are. You know, you ingest something every day, and you feel a certain way. I just got curious about what I might feel like off this stuff. And then, if what was being professed, if any part of it was true, then I thought it was worth exploring.”

For a while, Sheen regretted the amount of time it took him to start embracing a healthy lifestyle.

“I beat myself up from time to time about why it took me so long once I knew that I was HIV positive to really start embracing the whole physical package and the whole psychological package about bettering myself,” he say.

But since finding the courage to come public with his diagnosis in November, he says he has quit abusing drugs and alcohol.

And since coming public, Sheen has made a promise to those fighting a similar fight that he will dedicate his life to finding a cure, and he understands that the risks he is taking by trying to find a cure could kill him.

In fact, he is “amazed that he’s actually alive.”