1. Dear Abby – Odd Couple Are Wrecking Our Property Values
About four months ago, the house across the street was sold to a “father and son” — or so we thought. We later learned it was an older man about 50 and a young fellow about 24. This was a respectable neighborhood before this “odd couple” moved in. They have all sorts of strange-looking company. Men who look like women, women who look like men, blacks, whites, Indians. Yesterday I even saw two nuns go in there!… Abby, these weirdos are wrecking our property values! How can we improve the quality of this once-respectable neighborhood?
—Up In Arms
Dear UP: You could move.
2. Dear Abby – Lost Lust Love
You are my last hope. I am still looking for a man I met in La Crosse, Wis., during the second World War. We only spent one evening together, but it was the most wonderful evening of my life. All I know is that he had “HERB” tattooed on him and he’s from Sioux Falls, SD. I thank you.
—Can’t Forget Him
Dear Can’t: He went that-a-way
3. Dear Abby – Virgins Walk That Way
We are two girls who are having a big argument. She’s 17 and I’m 18. She’s a virgin and I’m not, and she says a guy can tell whether a girl is a virgin or not by the way she walks. I say a girl doesn’t walk any differently after she’s gone all the way with a guy than she did before. We’ll be looking for your answer.
—Waiting in Colorado
Dear Waiting: You can’t tell if a girl is a virgin by the way she walks. But you can sometimes tell by the way she talks.
4. Dear Abby – Something Nice for His Birthday
My boyfriend is going to be twenty years old next month. I’d like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think he’d like?
Dear Carol: Never mind what he’d like. Give him a tie.
5. Dear Abby – A Guy With Looks and A Marvelous Personality
Dear Abby: I don’t want to appear conceited but I’m forced to admit that I am one guy who has everything. Women are always flocking around me and telling me how good-looking I am and what a marvelous personality I have. I’m beginning to find this pretty annoying and extremely tiring. I just want to live a normal quiet life. How can I dissuade these hopeful females?
Dear C.W.: Keep talking.