There is nothing that you can do to win someone, or something, that is not meant to be yours.

You can fight with everything you have. You can hold on for as long as you can. You can force yourself into mental gymnastics to pick apart signs and signals. You can have your friends read into texts and emails, you can decide that you know what’s best for you, and right for you. Mostly, you can wait.

You can wait forever.

What isn’t right for you will never remain in your life.

There is no job, person or city that you can force to be right for you if it is not, though you can pretend for a while. You can play games with yourself, you can justify and make ultimatums. You can say you’ll try just a little longer, you can make excuses for why things aren’t working out right now.

The truth is that what is right for you will come to you and stay with you and won’t err from you for long. The truth is that when something is right for you, it brings you clarity, and when something is wrong for you, it brings you confusion.

You get stuck when you try to make something that’s wrong for you right. When you try to force it into a place in your life in which it doesn’t belong. You get split, you breed this internal conflict of which you cannot resolve. The more it intensifies, the more you mistake it for passion. How could you ever feel so strongly about something that isn’t right?

You can, because you can use your mind to get attached. You can fall in love with potential as opposed to reality. You can orchestrate and choreograph dances of how you’ll live out your days when things finally settle into their rightful place. You can hinge on a fantasy life in which everything you think you want has taken root in your everyday.

But if it isn’t showing up, it’s just that — a fantasy. And when we start to deeply believe in an illusion, it becomes a delusion. And a delusion can be a really compelling thing.

The truth is that what is not right for you will never remain with you. Though you might want to pretend that you don’t know this is the case, you do. You can feel it. It’s why you have to grip so hard and with so little give. The things that are right for you can be free from you. You don’t have to convince them that they are right. You don’t have to line up the evidence as though you’re pleading your case.

Sometimes, we get lost in old dreams. We get lost in the lives others wanted us to have. We get stuck on what we thought we should be, what we assumed we would have. We get derailed by all the ideas floating around our heads about what it could be and should be if only things were different, if only everything would just click.

That’s why life gives us this kind of insurance. Sometimes, it pulls away from us what is wrong for us when we are not willing to see it for ourselves.

Because the truth is that we do not want what is not right for us, we are simply attached to it. We are simply afraid. We are simply stuck in the assumption that nothing better will replace it, its absence will open up a well of endless, infinite suffering for which there will be no solution. We do not want what is not right for us, we are just scared to let go of what we believe will make us secure.

The funny part is there is nothing that makes us more insecure than hanging around what isn’t right for us. There’s nothing that will collapse faster. There’s nothing that will bring us inner turmoil quite like it.

What is not right for you will never remain in your life, not because there are forces beyond us navigating the minutiae of our everyday lives. What is not right for you will not remain with you because deep down, you know it’s not right. You are the ones who eventually lets go, sees reality, and walks away. You are the one resisting, you are the one holding back, you are the one concocting healing fantasies about how great it will all be when you can force something wrong to finally be right.

What is not right for you does not remain with you because you don’t want it, and so you don’t choose it. You step away when you are ready, you let go when you are able, and you realize, all along, all you were really in love with was a little trick of the light that made you feel safe. TC mark


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