Getting engaged is exciting. It’s one of the happiest moments of your entire life. It’s a major milestone in your relationship.
But when you’re with the love of your life, it doesn’t actually change anything.
Yes, you get a sparkling piece of jewelry you can stare at to cheer yourself up whenever you’re having a rough day. Yes, you get to celebrate with the friends and family who love you as much as your person does. Yes, you get to plan a wedding and make a promise to love each other until death do you part.
But you were planning on loving each other anyway. You were planning on staying together anyway. A ring doesn’t actually change anything. Even if you never changed your relationship status from in a relationship to engaged, neither of you were going anywhere. You were committed before the proposal.
When you’re with the love of your life, getting engaged is a smooth transition because it doesn’t actually change anything about your relationship. You won’t feel like a completely different person once you slip on a ring. You won’t feel like a completely different couple once you announce your commitment to the world.
Aside from the growing excitement about the wedding and extra dose of happiness from the proposal (and being able to say the word fiancé), you will feel exactly the same — and that’s a good thing. That means you were happy together, even without the promise of a big party. It means you’ve always loved each other for the right reasons.
When you’re with the love of your life, getting engaged isn’t nearly as life-changing as everyone makes it out to be. Yes, it’s magical. It’s beautiful. It’s exhilarating. But it’s not going to make you feel like everything has changed overnight. It’s not going to make you feel like a grownup all of a sudden, like you’re a brand new woman with her whole life figured out.
When you’re with the love of your life, the biggest change is going to be the amount of time you spend budgeting and planning together. After all, getting engaged is a fun experience you get to navigate together. Neither of you has planned a wedding before. Neither of you has any idea what you’re doing, but you’re excited to work out the details together. You’re excited to get all of your loved ones in one place to celebrate your relationship together.
When you’re with the love of your life, getting engaged isn’t nearly as scary as it sounded back when you were single and skeptical. It doesn’t make you nervous. You don’t freak out about whether you are making the right decision, whether you are following the right path. It feels natural. It feels like the right thing to do.
The truth is, when you’re with the love of your life, the engagement shouldn’t change much. The love should already be there. The excitement to spend each day together should already be there. You should already be unofficially committed to each other before the ring makes it official.