I wonder if she worried there was something going on between us. I wonder whether she got upset whenever she saw me like one of your photos or leave a comment on your posts or send a text to your phone. I wonder whether you hurt me in order to stop her from hurting. I wonder whether you chose your relationship over your friendship because she could give you more than I could.

I wonder if she’s the only reason we’re not friends anymore. I wonder if she gave you an ultimatum, if she forced you to end our friendship, or whether you distanced yourself from me on your own. I wonder whether you tried to fight for me, whether you told her there was nothing to worry about, whether you explained how much I meant to you and how you weren’t interested in deleting my number.

I wonder whether we would be friends again if you broke up with her. I wonder if you would act like nothing has changed, like you hadn’t gone MIA for months. I wonder if things would go back to the way they used to be until you found another new girlfriend and the process repeated itself. I wonder if your relationship status is the only reason we never see each other anymore, whether you only want me around when you’re single.

I wonder whether you have strong feelings for me — or no feelings for me. I wonder whether you walked away because you knew it was dangerous to be around someone you wanted as badly as me or because you couldn’t care less about me and leaving was no big deal.

I wonder what the hell has been running through your mind because I can’t figure it out. I can’t figure out why you would stop talking to me out of nowhere. I can’t figure out why you would make me feel like I did something wrong. I can’t figure out why you would suddenly start acting like I meant nothing to you when everything was fine before you changed your relationship status.

I wonder whether you stopped talking to other friends the way you stopped talking to me. I wonder whether everyone in your world would say you’ve changed since getting into a relationship. I wonder whether you stopped having a social life, stopped going out on weekends, stopped hanging out with anyone other than her, or whether I was the only one cut from your life.

I wonder whether you realize how much it upset me to see you walk away. I wonder whether you realize how much I miss you. I wonder whether you even considered talking to me about what was going on, filling me in on your decision before following through with it.

I wonder whether walking away from me was an easy decision for you. I wonder whether you care about throwing away our friendship. I wonder whether you miss me or never even think about me. TC mark


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