1. Pleasing someone won’t make them accept you.
You weren’t born to erase your identity for someone else’s sake of mind. No good ever comes from placing someone first and yourself last. If someone doesn’t like you for who you are, then they aren’t your person. The right person will always make you feel enough just as you are.
2. When you matter to someone, they’ll make room for you in their day, let alone in their life.
“I am busy” is the equivalent of “I don’t care.” When someone sends you an indirect message of how they feel about you, send them a direct message of how little you feel for them in return. Don’t reward their disinterest with more effort, attention, or care.
3. If they don’t appreciate you now, they won’t appreciate you later.
Overdoing something for someone won’t make them grateful. If anything, it makes them entitled. The more you give, the bigger their expectations becomes.
4. You can’t be everything all the time.
But you can be what someone needs in a given moment and that’s enough. You can only do what you can do when you can do it. You will burn out if you keep trying to be someone’s best friend, parent, friend, partner, or mentor. And the connection you have will easily become toxic.
5. You can’t escape how bored you are by seeking amusement where you shouldn’t.
You can’t fix people, so you might as well let them be. It could be that you are lacking some excitement in your own life that you fulfil it in someone else’s. It’s not your job to solve someone’s problems, make their life better, or make them happy.
6. Your worth isn’t defined by what someone else thinks of you.
Struggling with having self-esteem might be the reason why you are going overboard. You shouldn’t care about what someone thinks of you, you should care about how they treat you. You shouldn’t value their approval, you should value the respect they have for you. And you shouldn’t fear losing them, you should fear losing yourself.
7. No one will do the work for you, you’ll have to do it yourself.
Stop running away from your problems and responsibilities, and start facing them. You deserve to be at peace and just happy for no damn reason. Life is hard enough, don’t make it harder on yourself. Direct your energy from outwards to inwards. Exaggerate with your self-love, emotional wellbeing, self-care, and mental health.
8. Maybe it’s time for you to let go of your role in their life.
Maybe your role is better played in someone else’s life. Maybe it looks like you’re exaggerating simply because they’re not the right for you. Maybe it’s time for you to let go of the extra and keep what’s left.