It’s that time of the year again to do some reflection. A year of exploration and letting go. It has been such a fluctuating year of high and low emotions that I need to hold tightly on a railing to prevent myself from falling. Fortunately, the storm has been calmed down for a bit and I am slowly preparing myself for the new year, for upcoming January. For 2019.
Forgiveness, meet me in January.
Forgive and forget. Unfortunately, I can’t say that I usually apply this in my life. One of my biggest sins is that I can’t seem to let go of things that have hurt me in the past. Though there are situations that I tried to forgive and forget, I still get vengeful if I think about it. My inner Scorpio would come out during such moments and stretched out its poisoned claws in the daylight, showing my ugliest side possible. This also applies to myself where I would beat myself up time after time for past mistakes. Teach me how to take the higher road and surrender to the sweetness of forgiveness. Show me how to release the suppressed anger and allow myself to have a peace of mind. Forgiveness, meet me in January.
Recovery, meet me in January.
For once and all. Not only from recent wounds where you could still see the leftover bruises and feel the tingling sensation when you slowly brush your finger on it, but also from nearly invisible wounds where there is no feeling of physical pain anymore, yet just one look at it can recall a wrenching pain of heartache. Let my drenched face of tears dry up during the golden hour and allow my body to take as much rest as it needs to fight another day. Remind me that body and mind is not separated and is always affecting each other – both negative and positive. Once damaged may not be possible anymore to return to the original state. Don’t fear, because recovery helps us to adapt to damage and helps us to build a resilient stance. You only get stronger if you bite through the pain, but without recovery, you will never be able to develop any muscle mass. Recovery, meet me in January.
New challenges, meet me in January.
Challenges that once again broaden up my horizon of the human experience and the world in general. Challenges that allow me to strip away another layer of insecurity to grow into my potential. Challenges that make me uncomfortable and excited at the same time. Challenges that make me grateful because it makes me feel alive. I’m ready for whatever may come and will wear my battle shield proudly against my heart, to protect whenever it is needed and expose it whenever it’s heart over mind. To be vulnerable yet cautious of oneself. New challenges, meet me in January.
Faith, meet me in January.
Precisely, faith in humankind again. Faith in people like you and me. People need people to survive. Period. Isolating oneself and staying inside our bubble to prevent anyone to hurt us works counterproductive, the only person we are hurting is ourselves by doing that exactly. If we never expose ourselves to unknown risks, we will never able to build a strong resistance. On the other hand, we become so weak on our feet that a single touch can make us fall over like dominoes. Learn to trust with open eyes again. Withdraw if you must. But keep trying. Keep trying until you can trust with your eyes closed – only following your open-minded heart. Faith, meet me in January.
Self-expression, meet me in January.
To express is to stay sane. That’s where creativity comes into the picture as well. Open your eyes, the possibilities are endless and unimaginable. Take the time to find the right kind of hobby for yourself in which you can express without limits. Don’t confuse a hobby with an activity that lacks a certain amount of effort and the possibility to polish your skills, think of consuming activities like watching television or shopping. Anyone can self-express, therefore create. Find your craft, become obsessed with it and inspire others with your infectious creativity, helping others along the way to stay sane, helping ourselves and others to keep our mental health balanced and happily smiling from within. Self-expression, meet me in January.
2018, I am tremendously thankful for you.
New chapter, meet me in January.