When you were a kid, your parents and teachers probably told you, “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” And as a general rule, that’s advice to follow.
However, thanks to the distance and levels of anonymity the internet provides, people are a bit bolder about saying whatever the heck pops into their heads. Especially when it comes to roasting tough criminals.
Meth dealer Charles Dion McDowell learned that firsthand when the Escambia County Sheriff’s Department of Florida uploaded his neck-tacular mugshot online in an attempt to glean some information from the public that might lead to his arrest.
People immediately noticed there was something up with Charles’ neck, however. Yes, the man looks like he’s part-shark, part-human. Now before you get to thinking maybe it was just a bad angle or a weird camera trick, take a look at his other mugshots below: Charles’ neck is actually that huge.
Because this is the internet and if you give anyone an ounce of ammunition, they’re going to mercilessly roast anything that’s weird or off, and you can only imagine the jokes they unloaded on Charles.
If you want endless entertainment, just check out some of the Facebook comments that appeared on the Escambia County Sheriff Department’s post about Charles. I mean what did you expect people to do?
When the man needs a scarf, he reaches for a pair of XXL sweatpants. He has to use an actual 42″ belt if he wants to wear a choker. He uses jump ropes as necklaces, and can only tie them around his neck with the help of a boomerang.
If you’re a fan of puns, people on Facebook came up with some absolutely choice ones. Of course, they’re all neck-related.
Although it’s pretty funny to make fun of Charles’ neck, it’s also easy to forget he’s a career criminal.
He was originally arrested for not only fleeing and evading the police, which is quite a feat with a neck that large. Then again, he probably didn’t have time to look back, so he could just focus on the road ahead.
The good news for Charles is, if they ever needed a stuntman for a Batman movie reboot and needed to use the suits from the first Batman Begins movie, he’ll be totally used to having zero mobility in his neck.
I think the best part about all of the jokes that showed up in response to Charles’ mugshot is the fact they’re so diverse. All of the jibes are coming at the girth of his neck from a different angle and it’s just an absolute pleasure to behold.
Charles isn’t the first criminal with an unconventional-looking neck to have his mugshot mercilessly roasted on the Internet. 52-year-old Robert Barteau, a convicted sex offender, was spotted within 500 feet of a children’s playground, which is a big no-no.
When the police put out the APB asking anyone if they knew of his whereabouts, few people had the information cops were looking for, but they had plenty comments to make about his abnormally shaped neck.
Barteau was eventually apprehended, and I’d like to think a lot of it had to do with the fact their post and all of the people online chiming in with roasts about his neck helped their post go viral.
They eventually deleted the original post and re-uploaded another, maybe because the comments section was getting bogged down with jokes, making it difficult for officers to see if anyone actually gave any relevant information that might get the convicted child molester off the streets.
I think these two cases set a clear example for law enforcement to follow if they’re planning on capturing a criminal at large. Maybe take a mugshot that exaggerates their worst features, then put them up online and let the roast patrol do their work. Now that’s some neckst-level police work in action.