We all grew up eating animal crackers. You know the ones, they come in a red and yellow box with a little draw string that you can carry around. They sort of taste like nothing but are strangely addictive.

You could tell a lot about a kid from the way they ate those crackers. I’d nibble at their legs before working my way up to the head, while other kids would dismember them as part of some animal war before jamming all the pieces down their throat. Or maybe like you were the weirdest kid in my 2nd grade class, who ate it like cereal. He’d open the box, pour it into a bowl, open a small carton of milk and splash it all over it, then go to town.

Now, while eating your animal crackers, did you ever look at the box and feel bad about all of those animals in their cages? I mean, zoos can be pretty cruel places if they’re just capturing animals to put them on display for people to take their families on a Saturday, so it’s understandable if you do. Plus, you’d have something in common with PETA, if that was the case.

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