I grew up in a marginally superstitious family who brought some beliefs and hocus-pocus superstitions from the old country. I couldn’t make too much noise late at night for fear of attracting a “jinn.” I couldn’t point at cemeteries or stare into a mirror for too long or my face would become deformed, and heaven help me if I was ever mean to or disobeyed my parents or grandparents, because then I’d be looking at a cursed life that would ruin me until the day that I died.
But the idea of “back luck” or stepping on cracks, walking under ladders, or stealing a black cat’s macchiato isn’t something that my family really bought into. Sure, we believed in supernatural stuff and the idea that karma gets back around to mess with you or your kids, but “bad luck”?
No honey, it isn’t luck that’s ruining your life, it’s an unseen species of metaphysical monsters that exist in a different plane we know little about—but they are mentioned in the Quran, so be careful!
There are phenomena so unfortunate that simply looking at images of them will cause the same bad luck to befall you. So on this Friday the 13th, gaze upon these pictures with extreme caution.
That’s definitely got to hurt.
How much are your fingers aching right now? I don’t even do my nails and mine are.
Yellow watermelon is just unnatural. Unnatural I say.
That’s right, you heard me. We’re only into succulent red watermelons this summer, okurr?
Whoever owns this phone is truly cursed.
It had a bumper around it, fell in the perfect way on the floor and still shattered. I know fear for my poor phone’s safety.
The person who dropped this amazing sculpture.
They could just call the new look avant-garde… Here’s what it looked like originally.
These people who only saw the lions after they took the photo.
You’d think you’d hear them laughing in the distance…Lion King lied to us, man.
Your next snow storm is going to be a nightmare.
Hope you’ve invested in blankets. Winter is coming.
Your shoes will always be mismatched.
I guess you could just hope that no one notices.
One. Number. Off. Every. Time.
You will go your whole life almost winning the lottery. Enjoy the madness that ensues.
This hapless man.
Looking at him will make you always hit the sunroof button in the winter time.
This bad luck kitchen.
You will never be able to enjoy a meal in your home again.
This “advanced” AC system.
After gazing upon this image, the elements will forever attack your automobiles.
This randomly-assigned license plate.
The shark fisherman who should’ve expected this.
Sharks get first dibs on your fishing catches from today on.
When being a diva doesn’t work out.
You’ll never have the chance to make history in your life after seeing Kalinic’s sad face.
This candle mess.
Special candle time is forever ruined.
Discovering bug spray actually attracts bugs.
God has abandoned you and left you to be eaten.
You will always get stuck in slides, have fun climbing back up.
This Kroger’s collapse.
You will never be able to shop for groceries in peace again.
Spotify is ruined.
Your library will now be perpetually filled.
This pistachio with cocoons inside.
Shelled nuts will hate you forever.
This dipping sauce pack.
You can kiss your pizza-dipping days goodbye.
This TV shot with a bb gun.
This kid shot his dad’s TV with an airgun. They will never be able to watch a show comfortably ever again.
If you made it through this entire list without becoming a hot mess (YET!), then my hat goes off to you.