For many people, becoming a parent for the first time is a dream come true. However, pregnancies are not without their complications, with one in three ending in miscarriage in the first trimester. But few people face as many challenges in pregnancy as transgender dads.
A testament to this fact is the story of 24-year-old Dorian and his husband Alex, who also identifies as a transgender man. They decided to have a baby with the help of a sperm donor, but unfortunately, Dorian found himself “repulsed” by his changing body while pregnant.
To learn more about Dorian’s difficult journey to fatherhood, check out the video below:
In an attempt to reduce the body dysmorphia Dorian experienced while pregnant, his changing body was referred to by gender-neutral terms.
He and Alex also decided that it would be a good idea for Dorian to refer to breastfeeding as with the more masculine “chest-feeding”.
Transgender people suffer from what is known as gender dysphoria. This means that the gender they were assigned at birth is misaligned with the gender they identify as and its prevalence has been shown to increase in transgender men who fall pregnant.
Prior to the birth of his son, Julian, Dorian hoped to give birth at home because he didn’t want to risk being misgendered by hospital staff. Sadly, this wasn’t possible, and he was forced to have an emergency C-section in hospital.
Dorian’s woes as a transgender dad didn’t end there. He and his husband were unable to register as Julian’s fathers on his birth certificate because neither of them has legally changed their gender. Instead, Dorian was forced to register as his mother and Alex his second female guardian.
“It makes me feel like c*** because he is always going to know me as his father but his birth certificate, which is going to be seen by official people is going to be incorrect and that really p***** me off if I’m honest,” Dorian said.