Unless you’re trying for a baby, sex has one end goal: an orgasm. While there’s no doubt that getting down and dirty is fun in itself, the experience is a lot more satisfying when you’re able to reach the pinnacle of sexual pleasure; otherwise, it can be more than a little underwhelming.
Despite this, there is a startling orgasm gap between the sexes, with women reporting one orgasm for every three that men experience.
Check out the video below to discover exactly what a female orgasm involves:
Female orgasms have been a source of debate and fascination for decades. It has only been in recent years has female sexuality been celebrated in all its glory. Before this, the concept of women having sex for any reason other than getting pregnant was almost unthinkable.
Although this outdated patriarchal norm no longer exists, its repercussions are being felt to this day. Click on any major adult website and you would be forgiven for thinking that making a woman orgasm is the easiest thing in the world.
Speaking as a woman, I can assure you that’s not the case for the vast majority of men.
Statistically, straight women have the fewest number of orgasms compared to those of other gender and sexualities. This is down to a number of factors, including adult material’s influence on men’s concept of sex, and a lack of understanding of how to make a woman climax.
We all like different things in the bedroom, but one thing that every single person shares is this: they know when they have gone to Pleasure Town. Now, experts have revealed the surprisingly simple things which are more likely to make sure this happens for women.
While it is easy to condemn men for their inability to make women orgasm, it’s important to understand why this is the case. Their understanding of sex is largely shaped by three things – the adult entertainment industry, their peers, and the sex education they had at school.
For many men, their first experience of sex involves watching adult material. It is where they explicitly learn about the birds and the bees, and, if they are watching guy-on-girl action, it will almost certainly put little emphasis on the importance of foreplay.
This lack of emphasis on the importance of foreplay, and the portrayal of women orgasming from penetration alone, could not be further from the reality of how sex works. Studies have found that only 18% of women are able to orgasm from simply having vaginal intercourse.
When it comes to men learning about sex from their peers, well… as someone recently said to me, they are not going to openly admit to each other that they blew their load within two seconds the first time they had sex and regularly leave most of their partners unsatisfied.
As for sex education, let’s be real, that covers little more than simply trying to teach students how not to get pregnant.
Each of these sources of information is inherently flawed because none of them focus on the importance of communication when it comes to getting down and dirty – that, and the bigger picture which is key to having a good sex life.
If you watched the video at the beginning of this article, you’ll now know that it takes women a lot longer to orgasm than men. That’s why it’s so important to have a significant amount of foreplay and not jump straight into the act and have it end as soon as a man’s climaxed.
According to sexual behavior experts, Gonzalo Quintana and Conall Cionnaith, solving the problem is relatively simple – it takes two to tango, and it takes two to tango successfully.
That’s why the simple keys to the female orgasm are nothing more than communication and confidence.
These keys are not exclusive to one sex either. Women who masturbate regularly are more likely to have better sex lives because they know what turns them on. With this knowledge, they are able to inform their partners about what they do and do not like in the bedroom.
However, their partners must be willing to listen to them and have the confidence to act on their instructions.
If you’re a man, it also isn’t going to hurt to educate yourself about female sexuality, and lesbian adult material is a good place to start.
It is perhaps a given, but sex gets better with age and that’s because people naturally become better communicators and more confident in the bedroom once they’ve been getting down and dirty for a while.
Trust was also cited by the experts as being a major factor in increasing the likelihood of a woman having an orgasm.
If a woman trusts her partner, she’s more likely to open up about when she is and isn’t enjoying herself in the bedroom. Trust also improves sex for both parties because it gives them the confidence to open about their fantasies – which can be a real turn on.
So if you’re wanting to help close the orgasm gap, remember that the keys to the female orgasm are good communication and confidence. Mutual orgasms won’t happen if one party isn’t fully invested in the act and that’s why it’s so important for you and your partner to make the effort.