If Hollywood movies are anything to go by, then your wedding night is the most important moment of your sex life. Full of romance and passion, it’s the moment that all supposedly defines the rest of your married life.
So with that in mind, it’s hard to believe that some couples abandon plans to make love on their wedding night. But they do. Whether it be to avoid falling foul to society’s expectations, or simply because they were exhausted, there are many reasons why newlyweds opt to forfeit a night of steamy sex.
Here, 15 Reddit users comically explain the bizarre and hilarious reasons why they didn’t consummate their marriage directly after the reception…
1. Start as you mean to go on
“Got drunk at the after-party and eventually, somehow, fell into bed. New wife jumped on top of me expecting marital sexy times… a bout of nausea immediately hit me, I screamed ‘Get the f*ck off me!’, pushed her off the bed and ran, puking all the way, to the bathroom.” – @pbspry
2. Not the role play he’d imagined
“I had the flu, so I left the reception early and went to bed shivering violently and puking and shitting, while my very introverted husband was a gracious host to 40 people. We didn’t have sex for a week.” – @what_the_sh*t_archer
3. Not the right kind of steamy
“My wife got too drunk and passed out while blowing me. I sat in the hot tub and drank.” – @Bloody_hangnail