In pretty much every culture in the world, sex can seem like it is shrouded in secrecy in the eyes of youngsters.

Before these innocent children reach the ‘appropriate’ age, adults will go to great lengths to protect them from the universal truth that people actually use their genitals to mutually pleasure each other. And ‘naughtily’ enough, they enjoy doing it too.

And so long before (and perhaps in some cases not so long before) you lose your virginity you might believe certain things about getting down and dirty; things that are entirely unfounded.

Take a read of the following hysterically insane things that people actually believed about sex before they ever had it.

1. If you didn’t believe in immaculate conception as a kid, were you ever a kid?

“One time in fourth grade I was at a sleepover and someone was scared they were pregnant because they had slept in a bed with a boy. And even though nothing happened, like they didn’t even touch each other, we were all like, ‘Well, maybe you are.’ And I remember a big part of the concern was ‘Did you have pants on?’ because even if they didn’t touch each other, if they were pants-less. Maybe she could be pregnant.”

2. “Thrust” me, this is so wrong

“I didn’t think the penis moved. I thought he just put it in and let it stay there for a little while.”

3. The best kind of know-it-all

“Well, my mom told me about it at a really young age; I was that annoying little b*tch who told all my friends where babies came from before their parents wanted them to know. But I think I thought it was more of a fun classy party and not the sweaty smoosh-fest it actually is.” 

I think it’s a fair assumption to make that most people first learn about sex from their parents rather than other kids on the playground. And that’s definitely for the best considering all the misinformation that children tend to spout.

Take a look at the video below to see a bunch of parents explaining the ‘birds and the bees’ to their little ones.

People often draw parallels between being horny and being ‘hungry’ or, more commonly, ‘thirsty’. Well, this next person took this a little too literally when she was a kid, and it’s absolutely hilarious.